Why Do Men Cheat?

Why Do Men Cheat

When a woman discovers that her boyfriend or spouse has cheated on her she becomes hurt and furious. Her heartbreak consists of feelings of betrayal, disappointments fueled by rage and a burdening of questions. The first question that she ask her spouse is 'why?'

Believe it or not there is a logical answer to why & how after you discover when and where.

First off, in most cases of infidelity you must NOT blame yourself or question if there is anything you could've done differently to avoid the feelings that you feel after discovering his infidelities. Never let a man in your head to the point where you blame your weight or aesthetics. Sometimes you will see the other lover and discover that she’s not as beautiful as you thought she would be.

So what is the deal? Why do men cheat? What reason would he have to go astray when you’ve sacrificed so much to prove your love for him? How could he hurt you so bad with lies and deception? Well the answers are more complicated than the questions.

In most cases when a man cheats it has nothing to do with his love for you. Remember sex is just a superficial act that is shared between two people on a superficial basis. There is not one person reading this that can say that they are having sexual relations with any partner, one night stand or significant other that doesn’t find something about their partner attractive unless you have a hidden agenda driven by superficial gain.

I often get ridiculed when I answer these questions but I hope that you are reading this with an open mind. Men don’t cheat because of what they are lacking at home but what they miss at home. The newness of the relationship is magical and the sex is phenomenal. There are a never ending exchange of compliments and a pretense to share the same interests. With the imposition of responsibilities and the fading away of the original flames the relationship becomes stagnant and routine. Those who have a strong moral compass finds themselves bored and remains faithful to evade the consequences of a divorce or breakup. Those with a weak moral compass finds themselves in the company of another woman.

In the company of that other woman he doesn’t find himself burdened by life’s responsibilities such as bills to pay, diapers to change and extra hours he has to work to maintain a livable wage to support his family. Just because he is having sexual relations with another woman doesn’t mean that he has a desire to leave home nor does it mean that he doesn’t love his wife or girlfriend. Sex isn’t love and love isn’t sex. I'm sure most of you reading this will admit to having sex with a partner just for recreation with no emotional attachment. 

In my day I’ve ran across some drop dead gorgeous women that suffered harsh feelings from an unfaithful man. They too would ask me why and would always resort back to saying something along the lines of, “I’m a beautiful woman. How could he cheat on me?” Once again I will say that it has nothing to do with you, your weight or your aesthetics.

What it comes down to is that there is YOUR idea of love and then there is HIS. Your idea of love may be a man that is into everything that you are into and can endure the hardships and struggles together while keeping the flame alive. Please don’t shoot the messenger when I tell you, ‘That kind of love is very rare!’ Evidence of this is the high divorce rate that has installed a revolving door on any divorce court.

When a man is caught cheating and he tells you, “I didn’t mean to hurt you” he is very sincere with his words. No, he didn’t mean to hurt you because he didn’t mean to get caught. If he had things his way then he would still maintain his household with you and try his damnedest to keep you happy while having his extramarital affairs.

Let’s stare reality in the face for a minute. Most of the men who get caught cheating are the ones who financially supports their families, maintain the bills in the house, keeps the groceries in the fridge, plays Santa Claus for their children to bring smiles on their faces and still shows affection towards their wives. The other woman only gets about 45 minutes of his time if he’s having just sexual affairs with her or maybe two hours at the most to chat and watch a movie. He makes it clear to the other woman of what her role is in his life.

In the mind of a cheating man, his home is still his foundation. He returns home from the arms of another woman to continue maintaining the house and tending to his responsibilities even though his wife may not be everything he wants, but she’s everything that he needs. The love that he has for his home is deeper than the feeling that he gets when he’s with his other woman. The modern household is a business and you better believe that it is more business than personal recreation. He’s not doing business with the other woman but merely having recreation.

The modern household starts with two people that mistake lust for love and spend recreational time together until it becomes a business. First there are bills to pay together, then babies come. After the babies come, there are doctor’s visits, schooling, costly children recreational activities and attention taken away from each other to maintain these things.

Remember, before these things the relationship was recreational. Nights on the town together weren’t at the mercy of the availability of a baby sitter, long days at work were a lot sweeter when he could sleep undisturbed the night before, saving money for vacation wasn’t hard to do when there were just two tickets to buy, leisure time in front of the television at the end of the day that used to be met with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other is now with a screaming baby in one hand and a bottle of formula in the other.

No red blooded American wants to sell his sports car or motorcycle for a mini-van or be told to grow up on a constant basis simply because he wants to zombiefy himself in front of a video game system. When he weighs the pros of ‘growing up’ he finds more cons but realizes after two car payments, a family and a mortgage later that he’s at the point of no return. As a man he has to keep the business going even if it is less recreational than the life of a bachelor.

There are men that desire that kind of lifestyle and there are happily married family men…and once again I will say that this is very rare. In that same respect I will also say that it is very rare that there are women who maintain their figure, balance the attention that she gives the children and the husband and still show affection for their men. It is very rare that after all of the smoke and mirrors of the newness of a relationship that a woman supports her man’s interests, dreams, goals and ambitions instead of discouraging them into occupations that they settle for just to receive a paycheck.

Now we will discover why unmarried men cheat. This answer too you may find to be a bit disturbing but here is the reality of it. Men and women alike for the most have no idea of what true love is but they are in love with the idea of being in love. With the mass market of movies, books and music; it is an unescapable concept to ponder upon.

Men and women alike find themselves on a mission for love and end up settling for less. Don’t shoot the messenger for you can find the truth in the everyday activities of people. This is why women get upset when a man develops the wondering eye syndrome or she finds pornography in the internet browser history. In so many ways she’s seen before the cheating or even in the newness of the relationship that she’s with a man who is settling for less to overcome the state of loneliness. The average woman accepts this and thinks that someday with enough sacrifice, sex and affection that he will come around to make her the apex of the woman he had in mind but disappointment in reality is the highest truthful expectation.

Then there are the men who brag of being ‘Players.’ The only female that a player has any respect for is his mother. Most players are very attractive men and their contempt of women evolves around the treachery that women are attracted to them for. Their looks, their clothing, their car, their house and disposable income. He knows the rarity of true love. He doesn’t play women’s emotions but the cards that he feel he’s been dealt.

Put yourself in the shoes of a successful man just for a second. You can be a successful athlete, an entrepreneur, have a nine to five job that gives you a lot of disposable income or a celebrity. Then you hear the true testimonies of other men that are in your position or less that loses everything to a woman’s treachery whether it be through a divorce, a woman getting pregnant just so she can live off of child support or claims that she was raped and live off of the settlement money.

In this case scenario I want you to be new money. New money meaning that you didn’t grow up around a class of people that higher education wasn’t a choice at the age of 18 but an expected demand. You didn’t grow up around women that has the same earning potential as you do or have a clue on how to manage money.

Reality check; even with new money you don’t elevate in classes though you may keep company with them. No Congressman or Senator will want you marrying his daughter or welcome you with open arms at any other posh social function other than at a charity event or a voting campaign. Even with your new money you will not be of the high elitist society but exploited back to the highest face on the totem pole in the lower class. How easy would it be for you to trust a woman when women have told you and keep telling you the same thing just for their financial growth?

The player knows this which is why he idolizes these rap artists who boasts of making it rain in strip clubs and having multiple sexual encounters with classless and scantily clad women as seen on rap music videos.

The player treats women like crap because he is incapable of finding true love or even knowing what it is. He is afraid of heartbreak and every woman that he breaks in his path is another notch under his belt. He can’t separate himself from his own superficialities to achieve a meaningful relationship with any woman outside of the bedroom.